Horoscope!!!!

ARIES
(Mar. 21- April 20)
You are best to do your homework before the end of the semester. Taking on other projects during this time will most certainly end in your premature scholastic demise
TAURUS
(Apr. 21- may 21)
You have no worries this month. You are a freakin bull for heaven’s sake. Continue doing what you do best, giving people the horns!!!!
GEMINI
(May 22-June 21)
Your love of all gems will come to a test this month. Be prepared to be presented with a particularity rare gem by a suitor on bended knee. Problem is that it isn’t the ring you already picked out for him to give you. Will love prevail or do you keep shopping for the perfect man for your ring.
CANCER
(June 22-July 22)
Your best results will come through hard work and extra study sessions at the compter lab. Don’t be afraid to roll up your sleeves and dig in.
LEO
(July 23-Aug 22)
Finish overdue paperwork and catch up on letter writing and reading. This is particularily imports because you are probably going to die this month. Sorry.
VIRGO
(Aug. 23 -Sept. 23)
Make your intentions perfectly clear and find out exactly what is expected of you. Marriage is a commitment and you should not enter any commitment this month without knowing exactly what is expected of you. You still have some good years left before you really need to settle down. Don’t buy the cow this month unless you absolutely have to.
LIBRA
(Sept. 24 -Oct. 23)
You can stabilize your financial situation this month if you take what you learned in Chemistry and invent a new designer drug. Don’t worry about the legal ramifications, if it’s a new drug it cannot be illegal yet.
SCORPIO
(Oct. 24 - Nov. 22)
You have no worries this month. All Scorpios are red personality types who are prepared long in advance for finals. Take some time and go looking for some lost Sagitarius to help out, you need the good Karma.
SAGITTARIUS
(Nov. 23 -Dec. 21)
Don't second guess yourself, if you think you cannot do something, you are probably right. The world needs retail staffing as much as it needs Doctors. Quit stressing yourself out over details that in the afterlife, really isn’t that important.
CAPRICORN
(Dec 22.- Jan. 20)
You need to stop and take a moment to realize how close to greatness you are. The word Capricorn is really close to the word Unicorn, and unicorns ROCK!!!!
AQUARIUS
(Jan. 21 -Feb. 19)
Don’t eat sushi, its cannibalism. You must not come from a water sign and eat things that live in that water. Go eat a steak.
PISCES
(Feb. 20-Mar. 20)
Some people have bad hair days, you are going to have a bad hair month. Just ride through it and realize that next month will be better. Be especially careful of Mondays and children with water balloons.